Your New Bride Guide to Being Engaged

It’s FINALLY happened. All your dreams as a little girl have become a reality. YOUR reality and it’s your unique love story. You went out on your storybook date and whether it was a perfect surprise, or with a couple hiccups along the way, he got down on one knee and asked you to marry him. You, of course, said “YES!”

You’re probably bombarded with every emotion from excitement and joy to (let’s just name it right here) a tad of anxiety as to all that lies ahead. Having been in your shoes not too long ago, I want to take you on a figurative coffee date and share my advice with you as a new fiancé!

Tip #1 Be Engaged!

First things first, let yourself BE engaged. I’m literally saying ENGAGE with yourself, friends, family and the world around you. Let’s not get ahead of the fact that what really just happened is that the love of your life has just proposed the idea that the two of you journey through the rest of life together. This is a BIG deal and it’s normal to feel every emotion possible – let yourself! And try to keep your thoughts centered on the simple, true facts. It’s so easy (especially nowadays) to get distracted by all the pomp and circumstance an social media surrounding the “idea” of a proposal and wedding… the planning, the parties, the dress – of course we want an incredible day to remember, but let’s truly remember what this all comes down to: a promise.

How frilly can a promise get? It’s a simple truth, a fact, witnessed by many people and it inspires the masses in a renewal of hope, love and commitment. I remember catching myself for a moment after Joe proposed thinking, wait, I didn’t do it right. I didn’t cry as he was bending down, I didn’t squeal in excitement when he asked, or throw myself into his arms while hearing an escalation of dramatic instrumental music rising in the background. (yea, sometimes I get a little theatrical) But you know what? I was peaceful. I was grounded. I was thankful. It wasn’t your typical movie scene, but it was real life. As quickly as the thought came I had to let it leave me, stop comparing and remind myself of the perfection of this moment, right now.

So my advice for those first days of being engaged… live it, engage with it. Enjoy every moment, be present and thankful for the new direction your life is taking. Talk to people, share your story, invite people into your joy.

Tip #2 Wait Two Weeks Before Planning*

Unless you are aiming to get married within six months of his proposal, it’s unlikely you have to make decisions right away. Take those initial two weeks to just enjoy this new phase in your life and start brewing some ideas in your mind about how you envision your wedding day without jumping in full force. Give yourself some time before over stimulating your mind with research and decisions (believe me, you will thank yourself later).

You may have noticed the asterisks. That’s because this rule is relative and one needs to know thyself to determine the extent to which one implements it. For example, Joe and I didn’t plan too much in the first month (we are more type B, and also talked a lot about our expectations before diving in), but we did have one requirement: the church. We knew this was our top priority and we knew the church we wanted, the rest of the decisions would follow. So, within that week, we called the church office and asked what dates and times they had available in May and June (the months we were aiming for). We sat on the information for a couple days (since there were many options) and then booked the best date for our schedule.

So, my second tip is (as much as prudently possible) try to postpone decision making for two weeks after your engagement, unless there is a component you both believe is non-negotiable and, therefore, unnecessary to delay in addressing.

Tip #3 Keep it simple

My final tip for newly engaged couples is an organizational one. It is inevitable that the tasks and details will add up – anticipate it. “Little things” become big things and all of it takes time, one of our hottest commodities. Do yourself a favor and Keep. It. Simple. Seriously. Decide on 1. Your “theme,” whether it’s certain colors, ideas, or objects, etc. And 2. Your target budget. All decisions along the way should be weighed against your theme and budget, so no matter how much you love the gold foil, embossed, double thick art deco wedding invitations, if you’re planning a rustic wedding it just can’t happen. Don’t even pin it to your Pinterest board! You will suffocate yourself in “ideas” before you ever actually make a decision! Before considering anything seriously, ask yourself, “Does it fit with the theme and budget?”

Another bonus tip worth mentioning in this “keep it simple” category is to recognize that people will always have an opinion on your choices. Stick to your gut and never let a friend or family member’s opinion come between you and your fiancé. EVER.

I hope this overview helps lend some insight on the beginning of this exciting new phase in your life! Being engaged is a special and comparatively quick time in your relationship. Don’t let it pass by too quickly, and keep your eyes on the true prize, your promise to each other. Once the dust settles and you’re on the other side as husband and wife, you will look back over this time nostalgically. I hope you will say you would do it all the same again.